Fire in the Dawn
by Elfreida
Summary: From the author of 'Between the Worlds'...He couldn't tell her. He couldn't get it out. And then he almost lost her and it was like losing everything all over again. So, after the world ended, and after his goddess breathed in the dawn once again and held out her hand, he couldn't not tell her, though he is far too broken for her...A stand alone story of Rose and the Doctor.
1. Part One

**Fire in the Dawn {part one}**

_It had come down to this. This room; this time._

_This was where the world ended._

He'd found a way – when Daveros had come back to haunt the universe, she'd found him and he'd found her and they'd saved the world. As it should be. He couldn't deny that they'd come out of it with scars, some of which ran deeper than others, but they _had_ come out of it. Nothing unusual had happened in the end. Okay, so the thing with Rose feeling the TARDIS inside her head when she'd been trapped in the ship, that was a bit weird.

She'd been in the TARDIS when it fell into the pits on the crucible – an event that the darleks had orchestrated specially, he was sure. It couldn't have been coincidence. Couldn't have. Not when they'd almost destroyed his third and fourth hearts _at the same time_ in one, fell swoop.

For a moment, a terrible moment in which the screams of his own people drowned his ears, he thought they had succeeded. He thought they were gone; stolen from him by the race that had taken so much. He'd thought she was…but – but, then everything had been fine. Absolutely fine! The TARDIS had taken care of the girl she still considered her sister and showed her how to fly her. How to fight the darleks. How to save the world.

_The light was still blue as it filtered through the windows facing east, a light mist hovering over the cold, stone floor. The room echoed; a cavernous, empty hall with the alter at the end. Rows and rows of seats ended some way before it. The alter itself was low to the ground so that the first light could strike the surface and refract across the bowl-shaped indentation made of silver and lined with glass. _

_Broken now. Cracked. Shattered in the centre so the dust pooled in the bottom. _

_And the sword…lying four meters in front and to the left, by the seats._

They'd gone back to Pete's universe to pick up her parents, because he couldn't just have her leave them because of him.

Jackie had slapped him again. For good measure. For being a useless Timelord.

It had hurt.

He'd forgotten how much it had hurt from last time – _well_, new face he supposed – but still, it hurt! They'd left them in London after making sure they'd be okay. _And _after having Rose introduce him to Tony.

Her younger brother was a menace. Permanently sticky, wouldn't sit still and chased after anything and everything. His little ape obsession with shiny objects and bright colours was intriguing to say the least. But he couldn't get over how much his sense of wonder and curiosity was like his sister's. He glowed with the chance to meet someone new; lost no time in showing the Doctor all his toys. He'd showed him the jam jar where he put all his 'shiny things' – collected bottle tops, marbles…

He'd called him 'Doc'a', and the Doctor had given him a banana. He'd told Mickey to keep an eye on them – and on Martha, although between him and Jack that second one didn't need pointing out. They'd be okay. Sarah-Jane too, he'd look in on her at some point. Find out more about her son. But for now it was just him and Rose.

The Doctor and Rose.

Donna had gone off too – not for long. She'd said pick her up in a week's time and she'd spend it with her family, knowing full well the pair of them would waltz off to the stars for a couple of months in between.

So, they were together in the TARDIS once again. The Stuff of Legend; Shiver and Shake. 'Course they would sneak a month or two with just them. He couldn't shake the feeling Donna was trying to give him a hint, though.

_His footsteps clicked off the walls, and then again and again. The noise bounced around him as he walked slowly up the hall. He didn't feel anything. He didn't even feel pain. There was a black storm in his head, but something held it back. He was on autopilot, disinterestedly observing his limbs moving without really thinking. All thought was a blurred wash. His throat was sore, but he wasn't screaming now, not even inside his head._

_He was beyond that._

He led her back into the TARDIS properly for the first time, both of them grinning madly, and let go of her hands to stand by the console. For some reason he couldn't seem to focus; his fingers were cold again and he had to look back up to reassure himself that she was still there. Then he got distracted by her tongue as it poked over her teeth.

"So, Rose Tyler," he had thought he'd never see her again. His voice had been low and the way he'd said her name – he hadn't meant to, hadn't meant to show it, but it was impossible to keep the secret.

"Where do you want to go?"

She had smiled mischievously; nervously.

"Anywhere in the universe?"

_He was shivered violently. When he reached her, his legs gave out entirely and he sunk to his knees by her side. It was like on Gamestation, but somehow, like arsenic poisoning, it had gotten so much worse since then._

"Anywhere you want to go."

"I don't know…somewhere relaxing." She had come up to stand beside him, her warmth just touching his shoulder. "Somewhere with beaches. Just this once."

He'd turned round, hand still on the console. He'd met her eyes and almost lost himself, pulling away at the last second. He'd lost her, and now she was here.

She was _here._

The universe didn't _usually_ do that and he certainly didn't deserve it. It was too amazing. He'd felt the pause between them and had chosen his words, unable to take his eyes off her.

"Your wish."

Then he'd pulled the lever and they'd been thrown to the ground. They'd gone on an adventure, because obviously he didn't have the capacity to just 'visit' a pleasure planet. That wasn't how the universe _ever _worked, but there were still beaches. Rose had worn a breath-taking white dress with tiny strawberries dotted over it and a straw sunhat she'd found somewhere. He didn't think he'd seen anything more lovely.

And that was odd, because he'd seen thousands of things in nine hundred years of travelling space and time. He'd seen the birth of new galaxies and the dawn of civilisations; he'd seen the treasures of the universe and some of the most beautiful things in creation.

But she was _Rose. _Always Rose.

It was like what Shakespeare had written when he'd done that sonnet describing a lover.

'_My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;_

_Coral is far more red than her lips' red_'

He had seen the sun in her eyes – or rather the heart of the TARDIS. _And _when he had he'd thought she'd been a living goddess, but that had scared the living daylights out of him and he'd quite literally died to stop it. No, none of that he thought of when he thought of her. The last line meant something about how humans inaccurately described the Madonna women, but he thought of the meaning of the sonnet through the eyes of the writer.

Rose was more beautiful than anything in the universe because Rose was Rose. Comparing her to anyone or anything else was pointless and unfair.

_He reached out a shaking hand to touch her soft, yellow hair. It felt like silk and softened pine needles. It was still warm. Not for long, but for the moment he could pretend he could still feel the glow of her life. His fingertips brushed her skin, clammy from running but still so very fine, and slid slowly, slowly down her cheek._

He'd thought she was beautiful before she was gone, but this was different. Something had changed; they'd both felt it. Maybe it had something to do with the sentence he never finished…

But there was always plenty of time for that, wasn't there? Even approaching the thought, he had felt something akin to terror. It frightened him that his existence might depend so greatly on one pink and yellow human. Frightened him that he might once, just once in all his lives, have stumbled upon something that only happened in legend.

So, he did what he did best in times of emotional complication. He ran.

They had adventures, and he never mentioned the change because he wanted to enjoy what they had only recently re-discovered. He thought desperately that admitting the blindingly obvious, even to himself, was courting disaster. The universe may have given her back, but he knew from experience that it was unforgiving.

_He thought fleetingly of checking for the imprint of her mind; to indulge that one, insane hope that stirred still his hearts. But if he found nothing…that emptiness…_

_The tear pulled gently away from his chin._

When they visited Sepia Xelphox IX, he couldn't hide anymore. It was a planet where, during the civil war, they held people in nightmares constructed from their own memories. He was forced to endure the last days of the Time War over and over again. As well as Gamestation, the battle of Canary Warf, the Master's return and a thousand other things, as well as the events on the Crucible, still so, _so_ _raw_.

And she'd pulled him out.

She'd given him a light to follow and saved him; saved _them_. She'd been too strong for them to hold, his Rose. He let her handle everything on the planet since she still seemed to be thinking straight. He hadn't been able to shake the need for revenge – anything to vent the pain spearing through him. It was a black, hard feeling. If he were alone, he might have levelled the complex and returned to the TARDIS, but he hadn't been alone. He'd had her. And so she'd saved everyone.

Then they'd gotten back to the TARDIS and he'd just wanted to lock away that pain until he couldn't feel it anymore; drown it in good memories. Memories with her.

_She_ was having none of it. She somehow managed to persuade the TARDIS to give them a chance to talk and his magnificent timeship brought them to the edge of a nebula: the universe's equivalent of a bend in the road in middle of nowhere.

When had he become so easy to gang up on?

_She was beautiful, even now in the half-light, limbs sprawled across the floor where she fell. She'd destroyed the alter; the creatures were gone. The earth was safe, yet all the while the universe collapsed down and down towards them, the tears pooling silently in his eyes before falling onto her ashen skin._

He'd resisted talking for hours, tinkering with the ship whilst Rose tried everything to get him to open up. He'd been immune to all of them – partly because he didn't want her to feel his pain, partly because he didn't want to feel it himself.

But then she'd talked about the nightmares she'd been put through, and he hadn't been able to keep it up. She'd talked about all the things she'd seen with the dimension cannon; about pain and death and endless possibilities. What struck him most was how it was possible that he'd never _asked_. He'd never checked that she'd been okay, that she hadn't been hurt. She'd been through hell and even showed him the marks to her perfect body – that was still perfect, of course it was, but it did make him want bring the full fury of the Oncoming Storm to the _monsters_ that had _dared _hurt her.

She'd tried not to cry, but he saw it coming. And then she'd smiled, her eyes lighting with a fire to outshine the stars, and told him she'd thrown it all off – all the nightmares – because she didn't regret any of it, even for a second. She didn't regret it because of _him_. Because she _loved_ him and there would never be anything she wouldn't endure for him.

She'd looked away after her admission, embarrassed maybe, but then she didn't see the way those words made everything tumble down. In that single moment they held him like a net, a hope, and then crushed him because he didn't deserve her love. He hadn't deserved her to save him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Don't ever be." He'd felt the emotions all stick in this throat, threatening to spill out. _The truth._ The inevitable, inevitable truth.

"I just…I know you're hurting, and I want to help. I want to help you, Doctor. 'Cos, I know what it feels like to have all that pain _there_ and it just…_eats_ at you."

_He slid sideways where he knelt, letting gravity take its hold until he hit the cold floor beside her._

He couldn't say it. It'd got caught on his tongue and he hadn't got it out. That little thing he carried round like a candle in a hurricane. Everything else he'd let go of: he'd told her everything, spoke for hours except when he couldn't and she'd just held him. He'd sobbed in front of her, much to his chagrin, but then again he'd felt so vulnerable and had allowed himself to be.

_For her._

She'd seen him back to his room after he was finished, but then he couldn't bear for her to leave. To be alone then…he'd asked her to stay. Just for a while. Until the pain and exhaustion had drained away. So she'd climbed into his bed without further comment and gestured for him to lie next to her.

At that he'd hesitated – at _that _alarm bells went off. Not that he didn't want to be so intimate with Rose, far from it. Many nights under the console while she slept he'd half fantasised about such an opportunity, about giving in to the impossible idea…

Presented with it, he baulked. He loved her – there was no denying it now. He loved her and was a broken old man who didn't deserve her. But the alternative was to be alone, and he didn't think he could survive that, so he acquiesced and let her wrap her arms around him. In them, he'd felt so ridiculously warm and content, but he'd insisted she let go when he'd felt her growing sleepy. She'd rolled away and fallen under the spell, and to his surprise, he'd found himself heavy with sleep too. Well, maybe it wasn't that much of a surprise. He hadn't slept in months.

_He reached for her, through the feeling of falling through the floor, and tangled his hand in her hair. The abyss caught him up. His hearts were dying and the pain was beyond anything. He wanted to follow her, wanted to plunge after her, but even if he did…_

_A wretched sound gouged and forced its way up his rib cage, past his thorax, past his lips…_

He'd woken to find her in his arms again, fast asleep, spooning her from behind. His arm was tight around her chest and the rest of him was pressed against her as if his subconscious was just as desperate to have her close as he was. In his sleep addled state, he had merely pulled her tighter and drifted back to sleep.

_He closed his eyes. He screwed them up and let the agony thunder through him, a long, terrible howl roaring through his throat. The fingers balled in her hair, as if by clutching at her he could bring her back…_

She awoke before he did. He was woken by her pulling his arms even more tightly around her – _that was even possible?_ – and by her sigh of contentment. It was at that precise moment that he wondered how to panic without alerting her. And he'd _needed _to panic. He blearily remembered being in that state in the middle of their sleep, but now he was awake – and aware of the _other _problem –

He had to think she'd noticed that. It would have been hard not to.

She'd protested as he gently extracted himself and made a run for it. Because he was sure _that_ wasn't meant to happen. Not without him choosing it to, anyway, and he was _sure_ he hadn't been dreaming about it.

He'd gotten to the first empty room – the TARDIS had provided him a cupboard in which to hide his shame, _this from the ship he'd shared existence with for the past nine centuries!_ – and leant his head on the door. He tried to think. Tried to think about anything other than Rose. _Anything _but the human companion that this couldn't _ever_ happen with for a litany of reasons five miles long…

And then all he could think about _was _Rose. How she had felt in his arms. How her hair had smelled as he buried his nightmares in it.

This, surprisingly, hadn't made the problem go away.

_He felt like he had on the TARDIS when he'd gotten clear of the Moment. From the destruction of everything he had ever loved. He had been alone then too, but he'd still had hope. Not that he would ever be whole: that he would ever feel again, that he would ever find someone to make life bearable again, but a small, resilient voice telling him he _would_ go on. That the rest would come later._

_It was dead now._

As he'd leaned his back against the door, he'd strayed into a _very _dangerous area of thought. The one involving the position they'd been in. What would it have been like if he'd woken her with a kiss? What then? Then his hands might have been on her hips when he pressed up against her, her thigh stretched back over his…

At this point the constriction in his trousers had hurt so much that he'd opened them without thinking. He had half-realised what he was doing when the thought of her pressing back made him reach down. A groan of relief escaped him as he grasped his throbbing shaft, fingers moving if only to lessen some of the pressure. He remembered a dim sense of self-disgust, but it was quiet and distant and honestly half-hearted as he did it again, building a rhythm as he thought of her.

His breath shallowed and he hadn't been able to silence the moans when he suddenly imagined her tongue in place of his fingers. He had leant his head back, speeding up, his mind crashing through in waves as he pictured her, _only her_. The woman that _loved_ him. The woman _he loved;_ loved more dearly then anything in the universe. Loved _desperately_, loved jealously and selfishly, but _oh _he loved her. He'd begun murmuring her name over and over as he got closer and closer.

"Doctor?"  
She came looking for him. She'd called his name, and it had sent him over the edge. With a strangled moan, he'd lost himself, emptying himself of everything and sliding to the floor in a state of dazed bliss.

"Doctor? Doctor!"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."  
He had been breathless and his voice high pitched – once he'd got it back. She'd been calling him for two minutes and twelve seconds before he could even think about answering. She'd been suspicious then, of course, but the waves of pleasure still coming in had been enough to blanket the panic that she would find him. And the TARDIS wasn't that cruel, was she?

As he sat against the door, he'd murmured her name again. He ought to have told her. Ought to _tell_ her. _He should say it…_

"_Rose…"_

But the orgasm faded and he'd hesitated. It was too selfish – she really wouldn't ever leave if he said. She wouldn't ever have her own life, and he'd had hoped for that. She deserved it. After everything she'd been through.

That one adventure he could never have.

Yet it was selfish _not to_ since she had already given him so much, _including_ her love. But he was too much of a coward and it scarred him. Scarred him that he would tie his life to a fleeting, pink and yellow human and forfeit anything in the future because there would, forever more, never be anyone else.

Scarred him that, for the first time, he truly understood the sentiment. Believed in it. And would doom his hearts to unbearable agony in the end because he _would_ do it.

_If _he wasn't a coward.

"_Coward or killer?"_

"_Coward. Any day."_

He hadn't wanted to think about it anymore and had lurched up and out of the cupboard after spotting the tissues in the far corner. As if his magnificent timeship had anticipated his lack of control. He'd made a face at the ceiling.

"_Oh, Rose…"_

He'd bounced into the control room, grinning madly, and had met the 'don't-give-me-that-bullshit' look Rose was sporting. She seemed genuinely annoyed that he'd just upped and left her in bed, but pointed out that after the previous day she'd been worried. He'd hugged her, shoving away the thoughts that had fuelled him minutes before, and focussed on her worrying.

About him.

Okay, that didn't help since it got him back onto the subject of her loving him, but that was fine! He had a big head, he could just think about that while he did other things, right? _Right?!_

He'd kept getting distracted by her tongue as she giggled. And her legs.

Then he'd suggested they go to earth, eighteen ninety's. He'd suggested they finally get to Naples. And the thought of her loving him and him being absolutely and so completely in love with her had refused to shift. What sobered him was the knowledge of two things.

One, that he could never give her what she so sorely deserved as a human: a child, a home, a family or even his life since he would have to live on. And, two, that she could never be his 'eternal' because it would cause him too much pain that she wouldn't live.

So he _wouldn't_ say it.

_None of it mattered. He was in pain anyway and more now he knew he would get no more chances; no more extra time. He would never say, and it was like being cut open until there was no more blood left. His hearts pumped broken glass and he couldn't breathe. His repertory bypass wasn't working, and he didn't want it to. He just wanted to choke on his own anguish and end the pain._

_Because they'd come here and she'd died and now there was nothing left._

_Elliot was right._

_This was how the world ended. _

_Not with a bang, but with a whimper._

_He whimpered her name because she was _gone. _Because there were no screams left. The storm that blotted out everything else descended in a fury, and he allowed himself to be swept into the dark._

* * *

******_A.N: Okay, this is another go at the genre, cos I couldn't resist. I love getting inside the Doctor's head, especially when it has to do with Rose. Not strictly speaking cannon when it comes down to motive and story direction, but that's mostly because the producers have to keep the story going. It isn't like a novel where there is a definitive end: there's always an influx and outflux of things and characters and bits and pieces, specially when there's multiple people writing new adventures. That's just how the series works. But this is my take on the motives of the character and the nature of their relationship._**

**_Oh, and I have nothing against the metacrisis, i just like writing for the Timelord cos it's less domestic and more magical. AU was an easy escape to get the right situation (sorry about that). _****_And I'm shamelessly advertising here, but I do fancy it as being similar to this if anyone's interested: my other one - Between the Worlds - was my first angst/romance/steamy writing piece, so...if you liked this one..._**

**_Reviews make my day! HAHA! Seriously though, review if you liked it!_**

**_Edit. 0.7ish (sort of edited, but edited in the process of finishing the other chapters, so I don't think it counts)_**


	2. Part Two

**Fire in the Dawn {part two}**

Someone breathed. _Breathed_. Harshly, using inefficient gas exchange and, frankly, wasting half of it. The sound cut through his senses and he looked up, surprised.

"Oh god, my head." She tried and failed to sit up, then wriggled to face where she felt his hand tugging her hair. "Hey. What happened?"

His mind shut down. Or _had_ shut down, hence this. Every thought was numbers, endless numbers; information thrown into the circuitry, but his brain refused to process it. Rose was staring at him, eyes slowly narrowing in concern – concern for him. She'd just died. She was…she was…

He screwed his eyes shut again and tried to drown it all out, tried to think. But her fingers wound into his and she called his name.

"Are you alright? Doctor?"

"Rose…" his voice was barely audible as he slowly opened his eyes.

"What's wrong? Did they hurt you?" She was trying to scramble forward, but kept wincing when it meant she had to move her head. She was anxious about him; her pupils were dilated in alarm and her voice had an edge of panic. She was scared for _him_. Wait…she was moving, she was _breathing_, she was…

He launched himself into her arms before he could coalesce another thought, wrapping his own so tightly around her he might have been trying to absorb her. She was _alive_. Really, truly alive! He buried his nose in her hair and laughed, tears still spilling from his eyes. After only a moment, she was hugging back just as fiercely, but she pulled back to look up at him in confusion. She relaxed down so her back was flush to the floor before raising a hand to his waterlogged skin.

"Oh, Doctor." She murmured softly. "My Doctor…"

He smiled broadly and clasped it to his cheek.

"Thought I'd lost you, there."

"Yeah?"

He nodded shakily, the smile cracking. More tears slipped down, though he made no attempt to staunch them. Wordlessly, Rose pulled him down and held him tightly over her, shushing him and whispering quietly that no, he hadn't lost her, and never would. He sighed into her shoulder and sank into her warmth, rolling them over so he could curl his arms back around her.

"Doctor?"

"Mm?"

"Should we go back to the TARDIS?"

"What? Oh…yeah probably."

He had lost track of everything as they lay clutching each other on the floor. Whole universes could have been born and died. He'd never let himself go like that; allowed himself to get wholly lost. It was always 'file it away and move on': anyone else on any other day and he would've done just that.

But not with her. He'd nearly lost her. Nearly _lost her._ He'd nearly lost everything…_again_…

"Doctor?"

She was pulling him up, but he felt like he was falling. She scrutinised him for some evidence of injury, but he could give none. He couldn't even look at her properly. He'd been so careless and arrogant and such a coward and he wasn't _worthy_ of it, _any of it_, and he couldn't _stand_ it anymore. The light had risen enough that the mist had dissipated as he tugged on their twined hands, pulling her closer where they stood.

"Rose…"

"Look it's okay, I'm fine, and I'm sorry I scared you like that, but –"

"You should have died."

She stared at him, but he went on, voice low and tortured.

"You destroyed their power source, the creatures were banished, but…the release of that energy – _you should have died!_"

"I had to save you."

She said it so simply. So obviously. But it only brought the anger and anguish screaming to the surface.

"Why?"

"Because that's what I do!" She held his gaze without a shred of doubt. "Because I love you!"

"I don't deserve it!"

He tried to rip his hands out of hers, but she stood her ground. Eyes red with her own tears, she stepped closer so their hands were pressed between them.

"You don't get a say in that." She said calmly, though tears streamed down her cheeks. "You're the most wonderful, caring, mad, _fantastic _man I've ever met, and don't say you don't deserve me loving you. I mean," she looked down, suddenly embarrassed. "If you want me, of course."

Through his watery senses he was suddenly very aware of how close they were standing. His lips moved without sound as he tried to think of something to say. Words seemed useless and clumsy and he didn't know what to do. The pause lengthened, but neither stepped away, and he didn't want to. _Never _wanted to. But…

"Come on." She muttered, still not looking at him. She didn't let go, but she was slowly easing back, an odd look on her face. The cold seeped into the gap and panic rose in his throat. Without thinking, he rushed to reclaim their embrace, trying to distinguish the expressions blooming in his companion – confusion, weariness, longing, patience, alarm, and…and…rejection?

"Rose," he whispered hoarsely. "Rose…"

"What?"

He pressed his forehead to hers, no longer caring what it meant. He would go to the ends of the universe if it meant she would be at his side. He really would. Because he –

"Doctor?"

His free hand came slowly up her collar to the back of her neck. He wouldn't survive her passing. It would drive him mad. Maybe it always would have.

"Doctor –"

"I love you."

He swallowed, eyes wide, staring at her. His hand rose though her hair, trailing a thumb over her ear as he gulped in air.

"I love you."

Those three words.

She was the picture of shock, incredulity flowing through her pink and yellow features. His hearts were beating a mile a minute, but his mouth twitched in a smile.

"I love you."

Her mouth softened into a dazzling smile, too amazed to say a word, and he felt nothing but the deepest vindication of his words.

"I love you."

And then he was a hairsbreadth away from her, her warm body pressed to his cool chest. Every thought he had ever had bloomed into one as he dipped his nose to brush with hers, drawn inexorably, impossibly…

"Oh, my Doctor…" she breathed, her lips angling to meet his. They came together as the dawn broke, spilling golden fire across the glorious horizon.

* * *

**A.N: Ah, I've been wondering how to get a moment like that for a while. Difficult to do without the visuals - like, it's easy with filming cos you just have to get the right light, but with writing it just sounds weird and pretentious half the time. Like it? Love it? Think I should keep my day job? Review, my pretties, review!**


	3. Part Three

**Fire in the Dawn {part three}**

Her lips were like nothing he had ever tasted before. They were like the desert wind that blows through an oasis; salt and fire and dust that carries the heady, _tantalising _taste of honeysuckle and sweet spring water. He explored them with reverence; disbelieving, wondering, savouring every last feature, touches feathered. The folds of her mouth were wonders to be lost in. He didn't think he'd been inside a moment so impossibly wonderful – until she moaned into his lips and their tongues touched.

He thought his brain would shut down. Rose pressed herself to him, and he held her there. He held her so tightly it was as if she would fall away if he let go. The blazing furnace of her body only added to the insanity of feeling her tongue racing; _dancing_ with his, their mouths pulsing. She plunged in with a fervour – as though this was something she'd been waiting to do for years – and he could barely contain the yearning, desperate _need. _The need to touch, to feel. The urge to kiss her so hard their tongues would bruise.

The urge to pull her to the floor and ravish her until he was spent. _Which_ could have been sometime the following day if what she was doing to him was anything to go by. His sense dissipated more and more – _he would tear her clothes and feel himself inside her, he _needed_ to be inside her… _

His hands pressed even harder and his tongue grappled hers.

She was _his_, his eternal, this wonderful creature. _She was his. _He'd almost lost her, he needed –

"_Doctor_…"

Her voice was strained, hoarse, fuelling the fires to new heights. He needed her – he'd almost lost her. He'd almost _let her go_. She had almost been _gone. No, no, no, she couldn't be gone! She couldn't! He couldn't let that happen! Needed her! Needed…more, everything, Rose…._

"Doctor."

He suddenly realised her voice was partly strained because he was crushing her chest. And that he was trembling. That she was looking at him with desperate, entreating eyes; eyes full of tears for the darkness he'd let show there.

He pulled his arms back as if he'd been burned.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be!" She rushed to reclaim the embrace. "Oh, Doctor…"

"I'm sorry," he croaked. He needed her – he always needed her. His hearts would wither if she ever left them again, but he hated more than anything that it was _him _she stayed with. Broken, damaged him. Old him. Old him that didn't deserve saving. That would _hurt_ her if she got closer – _he couldn't hurt her. He'd rather die a thousand deaths screaming in agony than that. _But he knew he would.

He stepped back.

It nearly killed him.

But he stepped back.

"I'm so sorry." Fresh tears were streaming down his face.

"Doctor, I'm here!"

"I'm so, _so_ sorry."

He backed away, legs refusing to support him when they hit the alter. He collapsed to the ground. He would let her leave and have a life and die as he watched her go. He couldn't bear it anymore, what he stole from her.

"Doctor!"

_No, no, no – _she was at his side again, eyes full of alarm, hands on his face. He wanted her to leave, to realise the danger, to understand the real monster – _to run, run away, just _go.

"Doctor, talk to me!"

"Just run, Rose, run away from me."

"What are you on about?"

"I'll destroy you, Rose."

"What –"

"I've killed so many people, ruined so many lives, I just want you to be safe from _me_."

She said nothing. Her eyes widened with comprehension and her lip trembled.

"I love you. I love you more than I thought possible," his throat closed. "And I…I…"

Pain screamed through his hearts like a storm of nails. He wanted to die again, but now for an entirely different reason. He wanted to die so he wouldn't have to live through the pain of her walking away. She shook her head, eyes boring unbearably into his, before falling bodily forward into his startled arms and burying her head against his chest.

"Don't you _dare _say you want me to be safe from you. Don't you ever dare! You're the best man I know and I love you with everything I have!" She raised her head so that he could stare wildly back: horrified, disbelieving, his hearts so fast they were escaping.

"I've already turned you into a solider." He said, so quietly he barely heard himself. There wasn't ever a time before or since that he hated himself more than he did in that one, crushing moment.

"So you're listening to Daveros and not me?!"

"_What?_"

Suddenly she was furious. She looked angry enough to slap him.

"You're the bravest, kindest, most wonderful man I know, and _I_ barely deserve _you!_ _Barely_ because of what you made me – an explorer! Defender of the earth! You taught me a better way to live my life, and you're trying to say that _you _don't deserve _me?_" Her limbs wrapped so tightly around him he felt as if he'd been cocooned. He stared back at her from where he lay sprawled against the alter, completely stunned.

"You're _good_, Doctor. You've always been good and don't let _anyone _tell you otherwise, 'cos they'll have me to answer to if they do. And that's another thing: I'm not leaving. Not ever. Not now."

"I'll hurt you…"

"No, you won't." She said it so assuredly it left him speechless. "You won't hurt me, Doctor. If there were anything in time and space I was ever sure of, it's that."

"Why?"

"Because you're the one who's always made me feel safe." Her lips twitched in a genuine, if drenched smile. "You'd hurt me about as much as you'd carry a gun. It's just a rule of the universe. Like 'million-to-one-chances happen nine times out of ten to us'."

"Finding you."

"What?"

He was shaking as if he'd overdosed on narcotics, but he reached the short distance to her face.

"Million-to-one. I found you."

It was impossible, insane, and he still hated it, but somewhere inside him, something woke up. When she laughed, shaking as much as he was, a light flared on again; fair and alien and beautiful.

"Yeah. Yeah, I s'pose that was."

She would always be there: she spoke engraved truth. It was _impossible_, yet there it was. Rose Tyler. _My Rose Tyler…_

"I'm not human, Rose." He said it as if that explained everything. All his fears, all his pain, all the hard truth of it. She merely looked him in the eye and said, without missing a beat,

"And I'm not breakable."

He stared. Finally she looked down, teeth nibbling her lower lip.

"Well…I'm not when I'm with you. When it's for you."

"Rose…" His fingertips travelled the slightly sticky skin of her cheek, brushing her hair behind her ear. It was contoured and marked in such unique ways. He could spend a whole regeneration – or several – studying her face and still not know all its features. They were beautiful in ways he was barely able to catalogue with her pressed to his chest, distracting conscious thought. The need started to rise again, but it was drowned by the wonder he felt in his hearts.

She was his, yes, but he'd got it the wrong way round for the most part.

_He _was _hers. He _would never leave _her_, and she would protect him from himself for the rest of her natural life. After that…the concept terrified him – and he still didn't know how she was managing to be alive in the first place, given that she was only human. He shut his eyes and relaxed into her arms, allowing _her _to pull him tighter. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and breathed her in, not fighting for once; not running. The smells of passion fruit and peroxides mingled on her skin with sweat and tears and things which were just so very _human _he wanted to laugh. She was so _human_. But then there was the scent of spices in summer which seemed to follow her everywhere and, underneath, a smell he recognised instantly. A smell he'd known his whole life: like salt spray, if salt spray consisted of stardust. Like the clearest air on top of the highest mountain, if that air had come from the dawn of the universe itself.

She smelt of Time, yet it was moulded to _her _as it was moulded to the TARDIS and he was entranced by it. He was _intoxicated_ by it.

The light that had flared glowed steadily inside him and he realised what it was. It wasn't just hope, it was _safe_. He felt safe, for the first time in all his lives, because _she _was there. The need he felt to _feel _her, to be one inside her, vibrated like a coiled spring, but it wasn't desperate anymore. It was amazed, astounded, revering. He was desperate to _give_.

"Doctor?" she whispered gently.

"I love you. Rose Tyler."

She shivered.

"I've always loved the way you say my name."

He grinned, feeling mischief burst in his stomach like a laughing madman. The proper him. Then it faded as the realisation hit him, making him love her so intensely it was as if his whole world had slotted into place. His eyes welled with water as he cupped her face, the pad of his thumb stroking over her skin again.

"I've always loved the way you make me feel like me again. After everything. You save me, Rose. All the time." He pressed her hand to his hearts. "Right in here. You let me be _me._"

"It's my job." She said simply, and leaned up to kiss him. It was brief, but traced a reassurance and loss that made him feel so alive it hurt. Everything was so _raw_, but he felt that kiss in the warmth spreading through the hall.

"Come on," she smiled as she pulled him to his feet. "Let's go home."

* * *

_**A.N: bit darker than I thought I was going to go, but I enjoyed exploring this angle. I also like exploring Rose's development in character and I reckon she ends up so strong in the end - really dependent on the Doctor for her strength, but strong nonetheless. I could've finished it here, really, but I've an idea for some really good secret recipe lemon icing to the sort of dark-chocolate, lemon liquor cake thing. Just to round it off properly, because it does end up a bit too domestic if I cut it here without off-setting it - particularly when set against the rest of the thing.**_

_**Reviews? Ah, minions, you know I need the self-esteem booster shot - review!**_


	4. Part Four

**Fire in the Dawn {part four}**

He felt so _tired. Wearied_. The thought of actually sleeping had scared him so much that he'd done it as little as possible since watching his planet burn. _No_…_scared_ was the wrong word. Well he was scared, yes, but more the fact that he would just feel more tired with the nightmares anyway. And the memories they brought back took far longer to grin away.

They followed him. No matter how hard he tried to chase them off.

The irony, perhaps, of feeling safe enough to sleep for the first time in a decade was that it was all he wanted to do. Her fingers were laced through his as they stepped onto the TARDIS, all warm and soft, and he let her lead him as they crossed the console room. The walls had a dim, blue-green glow about them. He smiled at his ship.

_Always taking care of him in one way and another._

They reached his door, and even through the drowsiness he noticed she didn't pause at all before leading them through. Whatever had happened to the shy, curious nineteen-year-old asking if it was always this dangerous?

"Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

He realised he'd been staring, but she merely grinned as he broke out of his reverie.

"Um…"

"Look like you've just pulled an all-nighter." She said wryly, though her voice was gentle. "Actually, we just did, didn't we?"

It was his turn to grin, but it was difficult to keep his eyes open once he scrunched them.

"Probably don't need to sleep for long," he mumbled as she pulled him knowingly over to the bed. "Not after…you know…"

"That was a week ago!"

"_Mm-mm! _Superior…sleep…patterns, me. Don't need as much sleep as pink and yellow apes."

"Yeeeah." Rose rolled the syllable as she sat him down. Her hands lingered in his before sliding softly up to his shoulders. As if she didn't want to break contact, but was suddenly unsure.

"Don't go." He whispered. He shut his eyes and laid his head on her shoulder, breathing deeply.

"I wasn't going to."

She turned her head and kissed him. Without a word she pushed him back, laying him down on the mattress, before leaving the floor so that she could crawl to his side. He raised his arm and she sank onto his chest, closing her own eyes before continuing "I missed you. This week."

Their eyes met and he brought his other hand to brush the hair out of her face.

"I was scared." His arm coiled tighter of its own accord. "Scared that _I _wanted it again."

She smiled gently.

"You still scared?"

"Oh, terrified." He said easily. "But not with you here. You make me feel safe."

Her words echoed back to her, she turned her eyes down and giggled into his shirt.

"What?"

"Just…bit mad, that's all. _You _feeling safe with _me._ Rest of the universe, it's the other way around."

"Not with Rose Tyler." She looked up again as he stared intensely into her summer eyes. "My Rose Tyler…"

His words trailed off. Sleep advanced over him as she raised herself up to bring their lips level, softly touching them like they had in the beginning. Just quiet, gentle exploring, her tongue moistening just the very edges of his mouth as he did the same.

"Go to sleep, Doctor. I'll be here."

He nodded, conscious thought trickling away to dreams as she stroked his brow.

"_Sleep._"

"_Rose…_"

He blinked. For a time it was like he'd sunk into a warm bath, but it seemed to him mere seconds passed between shutting his eyes and opening them again. He was confused. He felt more awake, but he was confused. More so because suddenly Rose was pressed to his side again wearing the thinnest pink satin nightie he could have imagined, fingertips tracing patterns on his rumpled shirt.

"I was wondering when you'd come round."

He raised an eyebrow, not quite ready to speak when breathing caused her whole body to move like _that._ He took a moment to check his time-sense – itself a little drowsy – and started. Two hours, twelve minutes and thirty-four seconds. It was quite a long time for him not being sleep deprived.

"S'pose I was just a bit knackered." He grinned sheepishly. "I did see you die, to be fair. Must have taken it out of me."

Rose sighed and threw an arm over his other side, face pressed to his ribs.

"I'm okay, Doctor. I always will be."

He might have wondered endlessly about how she could promise such things so confidently, but she interrupted by leaning up to kiss his jaw.

"Love you." She murmured. The silvery-pink satin flowed and curved to her body as she continued kissing down his neck, one leg curling around his. A moan escaped his lips as she came to the tie and took it apart to press her mouth to his throat.

"You know, I never quite imagined this." He shivered as her fingers ghosted over the shirt buttons. "Not really. Not _really_, _really _that it ever could be real –"

His breath was snatched away from him as her hands delved beneath the fabric to his skin. It seemed like they were on fire whilst his own body had turned icy cold. He every movement he felt with exquisite clarity; every touch spreading sparks where the two elements met. With a strangled noise, he reached down to pull her up and sought her lips with his. It was her turn to moan as he swept his tongue against hers, gently and slowly as he could manage when every instinct was telling him to plunge. She seemed to understand, though, and no sooner had he completed the slow, intense move when her tongue all but rushed against his.

Hands were momentarily forgotten as the kiss blazed between both of them, all heat and tongues and desperate desire. Only the last vestiges of sanity held him back, but in those vestiges he had _her_ – her warmth, her smile, her re-assuring, self-assured self-certainty, as well as her certainty of _him. _The fear dissipated in the fire, and when they broke away, he was grinning madly. He suddenly remembered his hands.

"Well," he said mischievously. "Now that we're finally here…" fingers previously in her hair trailed down her neck, stroked the edge of her collar bone, and then recklessly went further to where the night dress fell generously into a 'v'.

"Yes, Doctor?"

Her voice strained and she was fighting to keep still. He didn't answer. He was too fascinated with the way the little hairs and pores stood to attention when he brushed his fingers along the edge of the material.

"Doctor?"

"Mm?"

"Now that we're here?"

"Now that we're here…" his voice dropped to a whisper as he raised himself closer, breath caressing her flesh. "Doing this…"

"Yeah?" Rose was quivering with anticipation, one hand clutching his shoulder in an effort to steady herself above him.

"I can do this."

His fingers quested below the edge of the dress and slid down to encompass her breast. She gasped, sliding fluidly to grip his hips with her knees. Fireworks went off in the region of his pelvis and he pulled her down to kiss with his free hand, the other working the pliant flesh he'd found. Her skin was soft as milk – she'd had a shower before changing and the smell of pomegranates was startlingly fresh, but now he felt just how _smooth _her skin could be. Like velvet. And the little noises she made into his mouth were the most incredible things in the world. She rocked her hips into his, and he made an involuntary jerk upwards.

"Oh, Rose…"

"Oh, dear." Rose pursed her lips in an expression of mock sympathy as she looked down between them. "That thing that happened the other night happen again?"

"What?" He genuinely didn't know what she was on about until he followed her gaze down. "Oh…"

"Oh." She seemed barely able to contain the smuggest of smirks.

"You…noticed?"

Now she didn't even try to hide it.

"Well, you were pressing it behind me for most of the night." She rose into a sitting pose before examining the straining bulge that had materialised between his legs, seemingly disinterested.

"Sorry," he mumbled. The hand previously on her breast now felt sorely cold.

"Oi! S'okay!" Rose let out a giggle and reached for his face. "Just you leaving me in bed without a word. And…you know…" she settled her lower body back over his obvious erection. "You not doing anything about it."

The Doctor grinned widely and pulled her into his arms.

"Well we're certainly doing something about it now."

The hands on her back moved down the slippery fabric until he found the round of her bottom. And then he stilled in surprise, eyebrows raised.

"Rose, are you…?"

"Hmm?" She asked mischievously, wiggling her behind against his hands.

"Blimey…" he breathed as he felt the bare skin beneath.

"Didn't seem much point putting them on." She rocked forward again, harder this time, and his eyes rolled back. "And it is _surprisingly_ comfortable."

She let out a yelp as he hooked a heel over one of her ankles and flipped them both around, crushing his mouth to hers. After a searing kiss, she managed "alright, you asked for it."

The Doctor had barely a split second to contemplate her meaning before his belt was open and her hand was pushing inside, inside his boxers. He made a slight squeaking noise before his ability to make sound at all shut down. His eyes shut tight; his body curled. He had reached the shores of his own mind before he remembered that he hadn't gone anywhere – he hadn't been transported across the universe by Rose's fantastic fingers. A long, deep groan grew and released from the depths of his chest and he surged forward.

"Rose…_Rose…_" His breath was so shallow it was if he was drinking not breathing, but the feeling of absolute ecstasy building from her touch would have been worth death itself. His nose buried in her neck as he fought not to collapse on her, her fingers pressing and pulling at the skin, then _cupping _him, _moving _him…

He captured her lips like oxygen and tried to drink _her _in instead as his hips rolled of their own whim. Her other hand suddenly rushed to help, opening the trousers entirely and trying to tug them down. His own went to help, but then she grasped his length entirely, pumping vigorously, and all further attempts at co-ordination failed him. He couldn't remember tumbling down next to her, only that his whole world had turned to a white wall of pleasure. It was just him and her, _in the entire universe_, and the volcano of pressure and supressed want balled inside him.

Until he remembered her. By that point it was almost impossible, but he willed his hands to move, and willed hers to stop. Screwing up every ounce of courage and self-control, he pushed them gently away and lay panting while sensation returned.

"Doctor?" She sounded uncertain, but he couldn't talk yet. The tangle of sensations and emotions was overpowering, so instead he raised a hand to her cheek and smiled weakly.

"What?"

"Just…" it was hard to bully his brain into working. "…this…together." He said finally. "'s not fair if I'm out before we've even started."

"Doctor…" she shook her head slightly, a little amazed. "Doctor, it's okay for it to be about your pleasure for a bit, you know."

"No Rose, I owe you too much –" he leaned up to rest his forid against hers. "– love you too much to not give you the same." He smiled. "Besides, if it's my pleasure we're talking about, I'd much rather come inside you since you mention it."

She raised her eyebrows, eyes wide.

"In me, Doctor?"

His eyes shut.

"You still don't believe it. You'd stay with me forever and not think that I don't want you?"

"Still bonkers."

"I love you."

The world had come back into focus and he could feel his legs again as she slid around beneath again. Her knees encased his hips and their tongues met, but it gave him an idea.

"I still want to give you pleasure, Rose Tyler."

"And making love to me wouldn't be?"

"Oh, I don't know, I'm a bit out of practice." He said, only half-jokingly. "And _definitely _out of practice with humans."

"Well I don't know anything about timelords except they seem to _feel_ familiar enough." She rubbed her hand between them just once to emphasise her point. "We'll just have to learn as we go."

Robbed of breath once again, that particular timelord gave her a wry look whilst he put her mischievous hands firmly at her sides.

"Oh, now this _is _unfair."

"Can't have you distracting me!" He panted as he drew back from her silk-clad body. Her eyes darkened even more as he hovered over her, her skin taught with goose bumps. "This is going to need my full attention."

With painstaking slowness, he guided his trembling hands to her shoulders, and slid down the dress. Rose exhaled a sigh as inch after inch of her was revealed. He'd been right about the underwear – he almost hesitated when he reached her hips, but the desire to _see_ overrode his nerves. The satin slipped fluidly away over her ankles, but he wasn't watching where it went. He was gazing at her.

Now…he was nine hundred years old (possibly older since it _was _hard to keep count and easier to round for everyone else) and it was safe to assume he'd seen naked bodies before. Many. In various capacities. He'd seen naked humans and he'd _definitely _imagined what Rose might look like under her jeans and tight tee-shirts. Yet, for all of that, he had never realised the effect of seeing her laid bare to him for the first time.

She was _gorgeous. _Her skin – _so much skin! – _glowed with a sort of half-pale, half-flushed flare that accentuated all the details.

_Details? DETAILS? You're calling them DETAILS?_

His brain was over-steering madly, trying to keep a grasp of reality whilst taking in every _detail_. She was…she was…

"_Beautiful._" He breathed, the lilting accents of his native tongue only barely sufficing for what he meant by it.

"Doctor?"

"Fuck." His voice croaked as he ran soft fingers from her thigh to her ribs. His thumb traced a circle on her stomach, the feel of her warm flesh against his beyond _anything_. _Well_…his eyes roamed over her perfectly formed breasts, falling off-centre now she was on her back, and down to the cleft between her legs. His whole body trembled as the thought of _more _passed through his brain.

_More than this?_

"Doctor?"

His eyes darted back to hers. She sounded as nervous as he did.

"Um…what did you say before?"

He dived to kiss her so thoroughly they were left gasping for breath.

"Oh Rose…" One hand was clutching her thigh against his hip, the other tangling through her hair. "You're amazing."

Her face split in a grin.

"Off." She commanded breathlessly. "Want to see you."

The rest of his shirt buttons – with more than a few casualties – were dealt with promptly and then her hands were wrestling the shirt. It was gone in a moment, and so were the trousers, wrenched the way down. By this point he was so aroused it hurt, especially as her hands explored across his chest. But as he considered them together, _completely naked together_, he remembered why he'd stopped.

He heard and felt her breath hitch as he encompassed a nipple in his mouth. He nipped it, and she gasped, hips rocking up to his. He felt that touch; the sheer _heat _pressed for an instant against his member and groaned against her skin. He wouldn't be able to hold out much longer, but he wanted to do this. With another clipping bite that made her squeak, he rushed down her belly, nose brushing the skin, and steadied his hands on her hips.

"_Doctor._" She moaned as his breath fell between her legs. Then he brought his tongue to that ravine of sensitive skin, and she arched into the touch. She was strange to his heightened sense of taste, but strange in a way that blew every other sense out the window. His tongue flicked and rasped over her, _into _her, and she writhed at the sensation, hips rising off the mattress.

"_Doctor!_" Her hands had been pulling through his hair, but now they balled in the sheets, her breath rapid. He focussed his attention on the bundle of nerves just above, and she jerked upwards with a cry, whimpering his name again. It was too much. With a cry of his own, he surged upwards and captured her lips, her response desperate and wanting, tongue racing round his. Her knees gripped him until he was pressed to her, holding onto sanity by a thread.

"Rose…" he gasped.

"Go on."

She let her hips fall back just enough to let him move. He looked down.

"Rose Tyler." Forid pressed against hers, he moved inside her. Fire engulfed them both as she pushed back to take him all the way in. His mind screamed with amazement as he felt her all around him; her heat, her soft walls. They moaned together, but the noise came from far away as he rocked forward and up, bodies entwined. Next second, hands were everywhere. His mouth found the crook of her neck and he bit down, and all the while their rhythm rocking through them both. The sensation was tectonic, world moving. Every fibre of his body screamed for more, and he thrust into her, completing them in ways legend talked about.

From her neck, he growled. A low, primal growl that staked his claim. _His._

He punctuated it with a thrust.

_His._

Her hands scraped down his back, clutching for dear life as he plunged further and further.

"_Doctor_."

He opened his eyes. He couldn't remember shutting them. Hips quivered to a stop with the last effort he had and he reached for her face, shaking terribly.

"Let go." She whispered, eyes drawing him like a dream he never wanted to wake from. "My Doctor. Let go."

Her hips pushed back up with all the force she could manage and he howled, unable to stop the surge forward.

"_Rose._"

"Let go."

"Then let me show you."

Nimble fingers found the nodes on her head despite the fog of passion, and he opened his mind to hers. He didn't have as much control as he should've done, but Rose wasn't in a state to care. He felt her wonder as he poured his emotions into her; anxiety, guilt – "Still guilt, Doctor?" – relief, joy and love. _Oh, _the love he felt for her. Memories branched between them, too fleetingly to do more than glance, and through all he sensed her reciprocation of their love; her strength. He shared the darkness with her until she had lit it ablaze like a new sun, falling into him as they started to move again. The act sent tremors of pleasure through their minds, and one thought he gave her. One thought rising above the rest.

'_Yours._'

She cried out, both physically and in their minds, and gripped him even harder.

"Yours!"

He surged into her, tears in his eyes, and then again, the sensation rocketing through them both. The rest of his strength poured into thrusting, in, and in, the first pulse driving them to new heights as it rammed him against her core. The white lights had started again, but he could feel her, in every way, right there with him, moving with his mind and body. Their cries set a chorus and he could hear his name even as she thought it. She was calling him, even as the pulses racked through them. He screamed her name, and knew she felt his sheer, raw pleasure when he drove himself into her once more, claiming her whilst she guided him home.

The world contracted and burst, and for one, glorious moment, they were both there; him freezing, her burning. The contradiction that made the universe whole. And then they came apart. Shockwaves reverberated across mind and body, and they held to each other as the pleasure overcame them, collapsing them into the light.

* * *

_**A.N: See? Special recipe! DEFINITELY a lot darker than what I was expecting, but it does mean it's not the same as my other stuff. I took out a couple of lines from chapter two, just so it doesn't follow exactly the same pattern as chapter three and at the same time I sort of brought it all to a head here. So there it is - the steamy stuff.**_

_**Read more steamy stuff with Between the Worlds? (You don't have to, I'm just fishing for people and, like I said, THIS is my second go at the genre)**_

_**Minions! Review, so I command! Or...so I ask, pretty please?**_


	5. Epilogue

**Fire in the Dawn {epilogue}**

"Back from your honeymoon?"

The Doctor stopped in his tracks, hand half-way to the back of his neck as he met a smirking Donna in her mum's living room.

"_What?_"

"Oh don't tell me you two still haven't –"

"We have." Rose stepped out of the TARDIS behind him, giggling at the lost look he was seemingly sporting. "Went back a couple of times to check, actually."

_Timelords DON'T blush! _He told himself firmly as the blood vessels in his face became uncomfortably warm.

'_Yeeeeah, they do.' _Rose laughed as she caught the edge of his thought. He felt her continued amusement at his attempts to maintain propriety, and blushed even more. It was _quite _understandable though – once she'd discovered that the mental connection they'd forged could be made more or less permanent if strengthened _regularly_, she hadn't let it go. She'd allowed him to bind them properly, threading the essence of each other through the connection and consummating it with the physical touch. He really had cried after that. The feeling of her in his head – an end to the loneliness – was more than he had ever hoped for ever again.

_Then _she'd discovered that it meant she could project _images _whenever she wanted.

That's taking revenge to a whole new level.

"Well, that's what you get for waiting so long to do anything!" She'd crooned after he hit his head on the underside of the console, having been distracted by the thought of Rose creeping up to him and…_and doing things_…

'_Still thinking about that one?'_

'_You made it hard to forget?'_

"So am I to take it you two are 'official' now?"

"Um, yeah?" She looked back at him for confirmation. He raised his eyebrows, the bow of guilt he'd felt the past week and a half pushing forward.

"Yeah…yeah you could say that!"

"Well thank christ for that! Thought you'd hold out forever on us! Jack was going spare – you should have heard him when he visited. Can't blame him though. The sexual tension you two gave off would have been enough to make the pope hot and heavy!"

They had tea and talked and laughed and Donna had just gone up to collect her stuff when Rose turned to him.

"Alright, what is it?"

"What's what?"

"The guilt." She prodded him eyebrows raised. "What've you done?"

"It's more…what we've done. Not that there was anything wrong with it!" He said quickly. "In fact these past nine days, fourteen hours and twenty minutes have been the best of all my lives! But, um, you know the connection thing…"

He felt her assertion through the link.

"Well, it sort of means…well I say it means, _did_ mean, not necessarily now unless you think it should mean that, if you want –"

"Doctor!"

"It…traditionally means we're engaged. Or, at least that's the closest human thing to it. A bond like this wasn't even done on Gallifrey for millennia and I only know about it from our history books." He ran his hands over his face. "The…binding ourselves together…it was called the, well, Binding. The first step in being Bond-mates."

'_Bond-mates?_' the question came to him with a sense of wonder and he showed her what the word meant to him. Allowed her to _feel _what it meant for him.

"Bound to each other through all the universe." He murmured, drawing her close.

"Yeah?" She breathed. The link coloured with unsuppressed joy. "That wouldn't be too…domestic?"

"Little bit." He chuckled. "Bit cliché as well. But, I mean, if you want us to…"

"Course!" She hugged him tightly and he felt a wave of relief wash over him.

"Saves me asking you, at least."

"God," she giggled against his neck. "Engaged to you. I mean the rest is a bit too soon –" she looked intently at him as she glanced up. "All this new _relationshipy_ stuff."

"Oh, now _that's _domestics!"

"I know!"

She tried to enunciate her feelings through the link.

'_Not quite…us._' She sighed into his chest and he felt her hesitation at describing _them_. He'd felt it all week. _Girlfriend _and _boyfriend _were just too cushy and inaccurate, and even _fiancée_ didn't fit. They didn't do the things people 'in a relationship' did, and though he'd spent the first few days warring between the part of him that roiled at the thought and the part that reasoned he really should, she'd pointed out that she didn't want that either. They didn't _do _breakfast-in-bed. No – he'd taken her to the seaside cafés of Raxus VI for a poached ephrich egg while they watched the annual migration of ephrich birds over the water. _And _then uncovered the secret trafficking of the rare birds to off-worlders who came every year.

Because that's how the universe worked.

'_Bond-mates. Sounds about right. Meaning the universe to each other –_'

"And doing what we doing what we do best." She finished out loud. "Muddling through."

"Bound together?"

"Yeah. We'll work out the rest later."

Then she giggled again.

"Mum's still gonna kill you!"

"_Ow_ – s'pose I can't deny having sex with you anymore, can I?"

"Nope."

He sighed heavily.

"This'll be the third time, I hope you're counting!"

She let out a breathy laugh.

"Yes, Doctor."

At the top of the stairs, Donna was in a dilemma. As they snogged, so at ease with each other's company, she wondered who in the world would ever want to try to tear them apart; the two halves of the Stuff of Legend. The Doctor and Rose. Sharing themselves in a way millions and billions did every day.

The dilemma was whether to bring the water blaster.

* * *

**_A.N: I don't like it as much as the other epilogue. Too introspective and not very concise, but I did want to explore the idea, it was just a thought. Still, here you are!_**

**_Merry Christmas!_**


End file.
